if u askin about my bra size u better be planning on takin ur ass down to Victoria’s Secret to buy me some nice bras
we need to sacrifice somebody so Ellen never dies
This is quickly becoming the Hunger Games for douchebags
THE 1ST ANNUAL DOUCHEBAG GAMES.
Hosted by Ellen
top 6 selfies aye ✌️
if you’re reading this right now you’re cool as fuck and i wanna smoke a blunt with you
When you realize that someone is only being nice to you because they want something
my anxiety gets 700% worse when someone says “can i talk to you”
A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”
human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors
WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.
FINALLY A CARTOON GOT IT RIGHT
Spanish Teacher: ¿Cómo estás?
Me: Estoy bitchin’
sure we’ve never had a woman president, the majority of politicians and CEOs are men, a woman needs a masters degree just to make the same money as a man with a BA doing the same job, rape cases are grossly under prosecuted, and we teach young girls that they’re “asking for” rape based on what they’re wearing
but let’s talk about the REAL issues like how some woman on the internet is selling a coffee mug with the words “male tears” printed on it
freedom would never knock
And if it takes longer than 30 minutes, your freedom is free.
If you experience freedom lasting four hours or more, contact your physician immediately.
eagle sold separately
*Some restrictions apply.
batteries not included
limited time offer
side effects may include liberty and justice for all
this entire country is crazy.
Some assembly required.
not available in stores or online